top of page

Funny Quotes That Will Add Some Laughter To Your Day





Are you feeling a bit stressed? How about scrolling through some funny quotes? You may find something that makes you smile or laugh.


Did you know that laughing is not just fun, but also a great stress-buster? It helps reduce stress, protects your heart, and can even burn calories. So, why not indulge in some laughter therapy today?



Funny Quotes That Will Add Some Laughter To Your Day



"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."

Fred Allen


"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...And try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."


"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"

Robin Williams


"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three."


"Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children."

Bill Hick


"A two year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it."

Jerry Seinfeld


"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."


"Never have more children than you have car windows."

Erma Bombeck


"You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of the police."

Joan Rivers


"People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made."

Joan Rivers


"I'm not offended by blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I also know I'm not blonde."

Dolly Parton


"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them."

Rodney Dangerfield


"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

Bob Hope


"The road to success is always under construction."

Lily Tomlin


"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."

Oscar Wilde


"Dear Karma, I have a list of people that you missed."


The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest perhaps they are too old to do it."

Ann Bancroft


Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine."

Joan Collins


"I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food."

W.C. Fields


"It's useless to try to hold a person to anything he says while he's madly in love, drunk, or running for office."

Shirley MacLaine


"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young."


"I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with them later."

Mitch Hedberg


"Never follow anyone else's path. Unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path. Then by all means follow that path."

Ellen DeGeneres


"So it turns out that being an adult is really just googling how to do stuff."

Unknown


"The four most important words in any marriage-I'll do the dishes."

Unknown


Comments


bottom of page