Stop Apologizing For Your Messy Home

Stop Apologizing For Your Messy Home

"A messy house is a happy house, because it means there is life happening."

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Feeling the need to apologize for the state of our homes is a shared experience among us homeowners. This commonality fosters a sense of unity and understanding, reminding us that we're not alone in this. It's perfectly normal to feel this way, and your feelings are valid. Your home, with all its imperfections, is just as charming and welcoming as any other. Remember, it's okay to have a lived-in home, and it's part of what makes your space unique and welcoming.

Many of us have found ourselves in a situation where some unexpected company, such as a neighbor dropping by or a friend who's in the area, shows up, and our house is not what we consider company-ready. Chances are, we panic as we look around and think, 'What a mess.' And most of the time, the 'mess' you're referring to is likely just a few minor things that you consider out of place. For instance, a couple of books left on the couch, or perhaps a few pairs of shoes inside the entry. Some toys were left scattered around. These are all regular, everyday occurrences that are perfectly normal and don't warrant an apology. They are part of the charm of a lived-in home, not a 'mess' at all.

By apologizing for the so-called mess, you are drawing attention to it. Your guests may be left thinking it's a good thing they haven't been to my home lately, but in reality, they're not judging your home as critically as you feel. They're there to enjoy your company, not to critique your home. Their focus is on the meaningful interactions and the warmth of your hospitality, not on the state of your home.

Instead of focusing on what you believe to be a mess, shift your attention to your guest. Make them feel welcome and at home in your space. Their comfort is paramount; it is more important than the minor things you might consider out of place. A warm welcome and a comfortable environment will make your guests feel at ease, regardless of the state of your home. By prioritizing their comfort, you're showing them that you care about their experience in your home, and this is what truly matters in hosting. Remember, a warm smile and a genuine 'welcome' can do wonders to make your guests feel at home. So, don't let the state of your home overshadow the joy of hosting and the meaningful interactions you can have with your guests. These interactions are the heart of hosting, and they're what your guests will remember most. The tidiness of your home does not define your hosting abilities, but rather the warmth and care you show your guests. So, be confident in your hosting abilities and focus on making your guests feel comfortable, rather than excessive concern about cleanliness.

So you may have to clear off the kitchen table to make room for a couple of coffee cups. Just do it. Pour the coffee, set some cookies on the table, and then sit down to enjoy some conversation. If you feel you must say something, a simple 'excuse the mess' is all you need. Above all, don't keep apologizing for your so-called mess. Instead, be confident in your hosting abilities and focus on making your guests feel comfortable. Remember, you don't have to apologize for your home. Just enjoy your company. Save your apologies for the big stuff, like if there's a major renovation underway, if there's a significant safety concern (like a broken step or exposed wires), or if there's a major cleanliness issue (like a pest infestation or mold). It's not about apologizing for the state of your home, but rather acknowledging it and making your guests feel comfortable.

Things to keep in mind when you start worrying about your home, and you get the urge to begin apologizing about it.

Does everyone else have a perfect home 100% of the time? Doubtful. Imperfections are part of the charm of a lived-in home, and they're what make your space unique and welcoming. So, rest assured that you're not alone in this. Your home, with all its imperfections, is just as charming and welcoming as any other. You have nothing to be self-conscious about. Remember, you're part of a community of homeowners who understand and share your feelings.

What is more critical, spending half an hour reading and laughing with your children or loading the dishwasher? Someone can always wash the dishes later. One day, the children will be off to college, and you will be missing those times.

Remember, a messy house also means a well-lived, active family lives here. It's a sign of life happening, not a cause for self-consciousness. Embrace the mess and the memories it represents.

Messy homes are a sign that life is actually being lived. And it's much cozier and fun than living in a model home that looks like a picture out of a home magazine.

So remember the next time you are at someone's home and they start apologizing about their messy home, tell them I didn't come to see your house, I came to spend some time with you.

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"Life is messy. And that's what makes it beautiful." "You don't have to clean up your life to start living it." "The mess is where the magic happens." "Life isn't meant to be perfect—it's meant to be lived."

Having coffee in the kitchen with a friend.

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